Male soldiers in Germany are growing breasts

By Marc Lallanilla, LiveScience

Like armies everywhere, the German military is filled with macho, chest-thumping rituals. But one battalion has found there's a downside to all that chest-thumping: The male soldiers are growing breasts — and only on their left sides. 

The Wachbataillon unit performs precision military drills at official ceremonial functions, the German Herald reports. Many of their drills involve smacking their rifles against the left side of the soldiers' chests. And all that pounding on the same spot has stimulated the production of hormones that cause man boobs to grow.

"There is a very significant link between the activity in the … battalion and the development of the breast on the left side," Dr. Bjorn Krapohl, director of plastic surgery at the military's main hospital in Berlin, told the Herald. "They need to change the way they drill."

The growth of male breasts isn't altogether uncommon: The condition is known as gynecomastia, and it's caused by an imbalance in testosterone and estrogen levels. There have been cases where chest injury has caused gynecomastia, though it's rare. Plastic surgeons report that teenage boys — who are particularly prone to the condition — often have breast tissue removed when gynecomastia becomes a big psychosocial problem.

In a study of the German soldiers, published in January 2012, Krapohl and colleagues found significant differences between the guards with gynecomastia and a control group of healthy males without signs of gynecomastia. Those in the Guard Battalion in Berlin had lower testosterone levels and higher body mass indexes (BMI), or a measure of body fatness. [ The 9 Most Bizarre Medical Conditions ]

While the researchers hypothesize the mechanical stress from daily drills may be the underlying cause, they are not sure exactly how the "chest thumping" causes the breast growth. "There are no experimental studies identifying possible mechanisms at the cellular level that might induce gynecomastia mechanically," they write in the journal article, adding that these findings may provide new impetus for such studies. The research is detailed in the journal GMS Interdisciplinary Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery DGPW.

Other research has shown that while gynecomastia tends to be symmetric, it can also be asymmetric; the lopsided type tends to be more common on the left side, according to a review in the Cleveland Clinic Journal of Medicine.

Over 70 percent of the German battalion's soldiers have been diagnosed with significant gynecomastia. Military officials have promised to keep an eye on the men's breasts.

"The affected soldiers are being medically supervised and treated individually," an army spokesman told the Herald.

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Military officials have promised to keep an eye on the men's breasts.

You HAD to go there...

  • 65 votes
Reply#1 - Fri Jan 25, 2013 5:25 PM EST

And I'm done here.

  • 4 votes
#1.1 - Sat Jan 26, 2013 5:04 PM EST

"Hey! My eyes are UP HERE!"

  • 9 votes
#1.2 - Sat Jan 26, 2013 11:48 PM EST

Was there anyone who didn't laugh at this article? I couldn't help but chuckle at the whole thing.

  • 18 votes
#1.3 - Sun Jan 27, 2013 1:01 AM EST

Too bad these soldiers aren't Americans. I could see them now being the next protected minority.

"Lopsided soldiers"

Or is "Lopsided" too NON PC..

How about "Horizontally Challenged"? That might work better.

  • 7 votes
#1.4 - Sun Jan 27, 2013 8:39 AM EST

Now that was funny, so if you had a flat chested woman you could hit her on the chest and she would grow a pair ..... I'd doubt that.

  • 5 votes
#1.5 - Sun Jan 27, 2013 1:18 PM EST

Sam: Know why door-to-door evangelists have inverted breasts? It's from all those homeowners poking them in the chest saying, "Get Off My Porch!"

  • 4 votes
#1.6 - Sun Jan 27, 2013 3:01 PM EST

Gee. If they are going to watch it. I wonder if they're going to One Eye It.

  • 2 votes
#1.7 - Tue Jan 29, 2013 8:52 AM EST

When one reads that slapping the chest stimulates hormones to produce breasts, the antiquated expression "to beat one's breast" takes on a new meaning!

I could have used this information in high school! Dammit! ;-)

  • 4 votes
#1.8 - Tue Jan 29, 2013 11:45 AM EST

Best Freudian slip ever. From very nearly the home of Freud! (IIRC Freud was from Austria, but they speak German there so the difference is little more than political; don't think the map of Europe looked much like today's at that point in history anyway.)

  • 1 vote
#1.9 - Wed Jan 30, 2013 4:53 AM EST

To late guys ! Obama OKd hooters.. Ahaaaaaaaa

    #1.10 - Thu Jan 31, 2013 6:54 PM EST

    There you have it A and B cup women. Start the beatings!

    • 1 vote
    #1.11 - Fri Feb 1, 2013 8:26 AM EST

    That is also why spanking your monkey makes the monkey grow...

      #1.12 - Tue Feb 5, 2013 11:05 AM EST
      Reply

      You beat me to it yeahbuhwha?

      • 10 votes
      Reply#2 - Fri Jan 25, 2013 5:48 PM EST

      Military officials have promised to keep an eye on the men's breasts

      So does this mean they have a firm grip on the problem? And are we to believe all those soldiers are walking about with eyeballs attached to their chests? Yikes, talk about invasion of privacy :-O

      • 4 votes
      #2.1 - Sat Jan 26, 2013 9:07 PM EST
      Reply

      In other news, german soldiers have been reported to be repeatedly striking their rifles against their groins

      • 47 votes
      Reply#3 - Fri Jan 25, 2013 6:08 PM EST

      Make sure you strike down the middle down there, you don't want your left nut to all the sudden swell up past the size of your right. Looks weird.

      • 9 votes
      #3.1 - Fri Jan 25, 2013 6:14 PM EST

      It has been well known for a long time thay gorillas and other great apes pound their chests when confronting a threat. They do this because it causes the release of testosterone. They have probably evolved to where estrogen is not a problem.

      • 2 votes
      #3.2 - Sat Jan 26, 2013 9:48 AM EST

      LOL!!!

        #3.3 - Thu Jan 31, 2013 6:04 PM EST
        Reply

        The article made no mention of female soldiers.

        I'd say that this was an example of...uh,...unbalanced reporting.

        • 11 votes
        Reply#4 - Fri Jan 25, 2013 6:49 PM EST

        It's OK. The females already have balls.

        • 9 votes
        #4.1 - Sat Jan 26, 2013 8:30 PM EST
        Reply

        Well ladies, forget the surgery. Just keep pounding away at those babies.

        • 13 votes
        Reply#5 - Fri Jan 25, 2013 6:58 PM EST

        New beauty trend?

        I guess I've seen worse...

          #5.1 - Sat Jan 26, 2013 9:01 PM EST

          ouch!

          it would hurt a woman too much...do you not know that?

            #5.2 - Thu Feb 14, 2013 10:21 AM EST
            Reply

            I had to double check and make sure I wasn't reading The Onion. Is this going to be an oops moment for nbcnews?

            • 17 votes
            Reply#6 - Fri Jan 25, 2013 8:32 PM EST

            This aint your fuhrer's army.

            • 26 votes
            Reply#7 - Fri Jan 25, 2013 8:33 PM EST

            "Military officials have promised to keep an eye on the men's breasts."

            LoL!!

            • 5 votes
            Reply#8 - Fri Jan 25, 2013 9:18 PM EST

            Oh my...what a crazy world we live in. Left breasts on soldiers...they'll start listing to the left now..lol.

            • 4 votes
            Reply#9 - Fri Jan 25, 2013 10:01 PM EST

            And this chest thumping is useful for what? Perhaps they just like the noise that it makes.

            • 2 votes
            Reply#10 - Sat Jan 26, 2013 1:10 AM EST

            Trying to work in a good Amazon joke, but none of them strike me as funny. A little help?

            • 2 votes
            Reply#11 - Sat Jan 26, 2013 3:12 AM EST

            I read once that the Amazons actually REMOVED one breast so when firing the bow it did not interfere. I've had burns on the forearm as a lad, cannot imagine a nipple burn.

            • 6 votes
            #11.1 - Sun Jan 27, 2013 10:04 AM EST
            Reply

            Is that why Tarzan beats his chest?

            • 4 votes
            Reply#12 - Sat Jan 26, 2013 5:21 AM EST

            I notice farther down in the article a number of bullet points. The last one: "New Theory on Why Men Love Breasts. "
            New theory? Not needed. I like the Jerry Seinfeld take. He got into a discussion on the difference between "leg men" and "tit men". What was wrong with being a leg man? Jerry's answer? I've got legs!

            Another man's quote: If I had breasts I'd never leave the house.

            • 3 votes
            Reply#13 - Sat Jan 26, 2013 9:16 AM EST

            We must! We must! Beat upon the bust! For fear. For fear. It might disappear!

            ( old girl's gym chant from unior high school- Excercise word used instead of Beat )

            • 5 votes
            Reply#15 - Sat Jan 26, 2013 11:16 AM EST

            What......? What.......? You knew it was going to get weirder.....

            • 1 vote
            Reply#16 - Sat Jan 26, 2013 1:08 PM EST

            Better check on what they are adding to their food....

            • 4 votes
            Reply#17 - Sat Jan 26, 2013 1:29 PM EST

            Now maybe these basketball players will quit pounding their chests like Garnett,and La Queen Jane.

            • 1 vote
            Reply#18 - Sat Jan 26, 2013 1:40 PM EST

            Dafuk did I just read........

            • 2 votes
            Reply#19 - Sat Jan 26, 2013 1:58 PM EST

            It sounds more like 'drug use' than 'chest thumping'

            • 1 vote
            Reply#20 - Sat Jan 26, 2013 3:32 PM EST

            Dr. Krapohl? Sounds like a proctologist.

            • 5 votes
            Reply#21 - Sat Jan 26, 2013 3:43 PM EST

            So I really thought this was a spoof. Born Craphole? Grew into a Kraphedd?

            But that is really the doctor's name.

            - Ve are keeping the eye on you left-leaning troops, ja!

            • 5 votes
            #21.1 - Sat Jan 26, 2013 4:00 PM EST
            Reply

            Germany, like the rest of Europe, is a leftist agenda welfare nanny-state. The males are growing female left breasts ... co-incidence? I think not!!!I wonder if there is a corresponding left testicle reduction.

              Reply#22 - Sat Jan 26, 2013 4:08 PM EST

              I think you need to read the article before posting. Idiot.

              • 1 vote
              #22.1 - Tue Jan 29, 2013 9:18 AM EST
              Reply

              Well... certainly keeps the troops occupied and entertained during off time.

              • 2 votes
              Reply#23 - Sat Jan 26, 2013 6:34 PM EST

              I thought men beating would make them go blind not grow boobs. Thats no disincentive.

              • 3 votes
              Reply#24 - Sat Jan 26, 2013 10:46 PM EST

              They need to start pounding the right side for symmetry and balance.........................

              • 2 votes
              Reply#25 - Sun Jan 27, 2013 3:56 AM EST

              Instead of chest, they will now start smacking their rifles against their groins.

              It's only logical!

              • 2 votes
              Reply#26 - Sun Jan 27, 2013 4:32 AM EST
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