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Admit it: You like her already!
Have you ever fallen asleep in a public place, started snoring loudly until it woke you up, then noticed others staring at you? Or accidentally knocked over your water glass in a crowded restaurant and sent it crashing to the floor?
Although these flubs may leave you red-faced, avoiding eye contact, or laughing nervously, a new study suggests that embarrassment can be a good thing.
The upside of being easily flustered is that people are likely to perceive you as a kind and caring person -- someone that others are likely to trust and want to be friends with, says study lead author Matthew Feinberg, a doctoral candidate in psychology at the University of California, Berkeley.
That's great news the next time you feel ashamed because you just asked a woman with a protruding belly when her baby is due -- except she's not pregnant, or you let out a loud belch at a staff meeting. Just keep in mind that previous research has found that embarrassment serves as a form of social apology and a fence-mending gesture.
This new research, published online in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, looked at whether embarrassment might reveal a person's prosocial tendencies, meaning the ability to be generous, trustworthy, giving, and caring toward other people.
In one experiment, 57 college students were videotaped recalling an extremely embarrassing moment. Most described social gaffes like passing gas or tripping over something. Students also completed two tests measuring their generosity and cooperativeness, and raters evaluated their videos to determine how embarrassing their stories were and how humiliated the participants felt.
In this experiment and four others, researchers found that observers viewed embarrassment as a signal of kind and generous behavior. Feeling ashamed indicated that you care about others and have a desire not to hurt them, suggests Feinberg. "Observers can feel safe that an embarrassed individual will be less likely to take advantage of them or be unfaithful," he explains.
So what does it say about someone who barely reacts to having egg on your face? An observer may perceive a less embarrassable individual as a person who you may not want to trust or who may be more selfish, Feinberg says.
Although expressing embarrassment may make you feel momentarily uncomfortable, Feinberg points out it helps people get information about someone's character and reliability, and may be one way we can signal to others that we can be relied upon.
The results do not apply to feeling shame or to those with social anxiety, neither of which were studied.
Since it will only make you seem more likeable, want to share your most embarrassing moment ever? Leave your story in the comments, and we may feature you in an upcoming post.
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What about getting caught having sex in a car by two policement. Actually, I think the cops were watching for some time before deciding to knock on the steamed up window. The cops didn't think is was all that funny though. At least they let us go. One of my many embarrasing moments.
Could have been worse ... I'm assuming your partner was over 18 at least ... and an upstanding member of the human species ...
Only more embarrassing if you're caught having sex, and you're alone.
LOL If having embarassing moments makes a person more likeable then I should be the most liked person within a 50 mile radius :D
I trip over my own feet.
I snort when I laugh really hard.
I think I see people I know and run up and hug them only to realize it's a stranger.
I get crazy cowlicks in my hair all the time.
I am clumsy so I spill stuff, trip, slip, fall etc.
I could go on but I will leave you with the time I was in a conference room full of people and I was standing in front of a chair while making a presentation. I didn't remember I had moved the chair to go point at a chart and when I went to sit I of course ended up in a crumbled pile on the floor. At least I got brownie point for laughing at myself.
I can understand the tripping and stuff. You can hardly see your feet with the naked eye since your legs are so long!! Of course, falling must be like coming down off of stilts!! :D
It's weird but I have fallen off my horse a handful of times and that never hurts as bad as just plain old falling down. Pray for me that I do not fall in my lesson tonight :D
Ya, hon, that was a stupid lil' jinx that you just laid on yourself. I'll sure that there is "something" that I can say that will make you forget about it.
Utter: Maybe you need someone to look after you...
@mozzie, you are soo right! Know anyone?
@Kink, I will not fall. I just won't! I refuse to....think that worked?
Once I walked about 3 blocks on a military base, to the elementary school to pick up my kindergardener... with the hem of my flowy skirt tucked into my tights :S
I had a little too much to drink at my brother's wedding and had my dress tucked into my pantyhose after a trip to the bathroom. And just days before I watched a memorable episode of "Designing Women" where the same thing happened to one of the designers. The episode was aptly titled "Moon over Miami." Now why would I remember all that????
I love when someone does something mortifying, then gets mad at others around them. I see women at grocery stores make a mistake, then yell at the cashier as if THEY are the stupid one. Or men get the price wrong on something, then throw the item down and walk away angrily.
That is a great Ahole test right there!
While giving birth, I had the urge to pee and push at the same time.....the wall was about 6 feet from me and was soaked. Two nurses in the "area" jumped back with looks of huge surprise on their faces while I laughed hysterically! They too ended up laughing while helping me birth the boy that has kept me laughing for 18 years!
That, my friends, is embarassing.
Anyone who has ever gicen birth understands embarassment
That childs name? Yuri N. Hatfield - haaaahahahaha!
^ewww
Double ew TMI
This post is useless without pictures.
If doing embarrassing things makes people like you more, then just call me chocolate milk.
After getting my tubes tied my wife insisted that I get tested to prove it took. When I came out of the bathroom with my sample the nurse was leaning against the wall by the door. Had been there the whole time. Sheesh.
My wife is a doctor, and she insisted on observing the procedure when I had mine done. The urologist was female, and was assisted by a gorgeous young nurse - and all three teased me mercilessly throughout the entire operation.
I had always wanted to volunteer to read 'books on tape,' and so on the day (at work) when I remembered to call, I asked my co-worker the name of that organization on such-and-so street. "It's the Deaf Centre, right?" She confirmed, and I made my call, leaving a rather lengthy message about how I would like to volunteer for them and read books on tape.
As I hung up the phone, my colleague quietly said: "Do you think you maybe meant to call the blind centre??"
Oops.
Quite a few years ago in the ladies room of a nightclub, I drunkenly told an attendant that I suspected one of the women in there was really a man. That poor woman told me quite indingnantly she was not a man as she exited the room. I felt badly (after I sobered up) but learned the meaning of Karma much later when a tipsy customer where I tended bar, asked my boss (in a stage whisper) if I was a man or woman!
BTW, I no longer drink.
In front of a lecture hall filled with undergraduates, I felt something itching in my leg, so I started wiggling and then panicked, almost crying, and shouted "oh my god there's a spider in my pants!" This student in the front row then howled in this beautifully, broad southern accent, "Git it out! Git it out!!!" So I ran to the back of the room where the bathroom was, only to return hugely embarrassed and having to report that it was only a leaf. The remainder of the class was just ridiculous, but fun. What can you do after that?
during a math test in gr 11, i puked during the middle of the class very incognito till my buddy stting next to me cudnt take the smell anymore....evry1 thought it was so hard, truth is i was high as hell....good times lol
Was in a restaurant and wanted to go outside to check out the Ocean view. Walked out of my chair towards the view and then...CRASH! I smashed right into a perfectly clean (way too clean) glass door that I could have sworn was not there a second ago!
Needless to say I was embarrassed beyond belief as I had nothing to drink that day so couldn't even use that as an excuse! I was actually hurt but I think I made it seem worse by putting my head down to avoid eye contact with all the people surrounding me who heard the bang.
Took around 10 minutes for my face to de-redden.
Senior year, fourth period, novel and literature class. The class where the first ten minutes was spent in discussion, and the last 45 minutes was silent reading. I learned that if I propped my head up a certain way on my arm, and closed my mouth tight so I wouldn't drool, I could take a nap and appear to be reading. So this became my fourth period routine. One day I must have been extra tired because I normally don’t snore, but about 5 minutes before the class ended, I started snoring. I was later told that everybody laughed, and my friend leaned over to wake me up. But the teacher stopped him, “no, no, let him sleep!” The bell rang, I slept on, and everybody tip-toed out of class, and left me there all by myself. When I woke up, there was just a moment of silent disorientation, “where am I?” Then I looked over at about 100 faces pressed up against the windows, and they were all roaring with laughter! Needless to say, that was my last fourth period nap.
I am a seventy-one year old man and have never done anything to embarase myself. LOL
Don - you spelled "embarrass" wrong ... does that count as your first?
I knew I didn't trust you :|
When I was in college, I worked weekends at a small inn in beautiful, downtown Charleston, SC. The routine was that my coworker would note when guests had left for dinner, so I could enter the rooms to place chocolates on the pillows while they were gone. My instructions were to use his list but still knock on the door before entering the room - just to be extra safe. One night, after months of this without incident, I decided to skip the knocking step. At the first room, as soon as I placed the key in the lock, I heard some rustling and shouts of "No! No!" But too late!! The naked couple clung to each other trying to cover their bare parts from my surprised eyes! Needless to say, I never skipped that part of my instructions again.
it was my frist day at a private high school where kids wear uniforms..since my uniform was not ready yet i was wearing regular clothes and was sticking out like a sore thumb (like being the new girl wasn't bad enough) and then during recess some of my really cute boy classmates were playing soccer and the ball just happened to roll over to me..i wanted to come across as 'fun' and fit in so i attempted to kick the ball back...missed it completely,stepped onto the ball,tripped and fell flat on my face. how's that for breaking the ice!! almost 20 years and i still turn red at the memory!
Oh please! lol When I was 15, my boyfriend and I were caught having sex by a policeman who was our classmates father. I was MORTIFIED, to say the least. He had enough respect to not shine his flashlight on me while I got dressed. Then he asked me if I was there on my will. I wouldn't call it embarassing, mortified is the word.
I was 40 when this happened; and under the circumstances, I can laugh about it. My 15 year old daughter had a volleyball game an hour away. I had my two sons with me; 1 was 11 months old & the other was 23 months old. I was rushing to get in the gym, carrying my 11 month old, my purse, diaper bag and holding my 23 month old son's hand. Home team and our team were sitting on one side of the gym and I had to pass the home team's bench and all their fans. I struggled up the bleacher stairs, across our fans and sat down. I had to get the boys, purse and diaper bag situated. I hear another mom say my name and turned to her as she whispered, "Your pants are torn in the back." I thought, 'no big deal' and reached around to my behind to feel the size of the hole. It wasn't a hole! The entire back pant seam had pulled apart in to threads from the top of the pant, down to my crotch. My entire butt was exposed and I was wearing thong panties. I suppose I should be glad that I was wearing panties! I wrapped a towel from the vball team around my waist and enjoyed the game.
At an end of the semester party for the entire school (a graduate program), I had a few too many shots of tequila and had to throw up. The only space available was the handicap stall. While I was in there, the ONLY student (an upperclassmen) in the school in a wheelchair needed to use the facilities.
I left the party shortly thereafter.
Gross! Did you throw up on his lap?
If embarassing oneself makes one more likeable, I must be one of the most liked people in the world.
Many years ago, during an intense make-out session with my new girlfriend, while laying on top of her and prior to penetration, I prematurely ejaculated all over her. Not Cool!
In college, I worked in a buffet-style restaurant that seated 600 people. One hectic day, there was a line waiting out the door. A man came to the register and paid, but was having trouble getting the money back into his wallet because his right arm ended at a stump at the wrist. I could see that he was becoming quite embarrassed at holding up the line, so I offered to help. Only, instead of saying something something like, "May I help you with that?" or any number of other things that I could have said, I was absolutely mortified to hear myself say, "Do you need a hand?"
Fortunately, he did not get offended, and actually seemed amused by what I am sure was look of stricken shock on my face. His response: "Yeah, another one of those might help" with a wink and a smile.
I LOVE that story. Too good not to be true.
ditto
I got married at 18. I had never made a motel reservation in my life, so did not know, that you had to check in by a certain time or let them know you would be late, but still going to rent the room (this was before credit cards were used to hold rooms).
After my sister's wedding at the reception, she mentioned that they had better call the hotel as it was getting late. I asked her "Why, what are you going to do there?" My uncle had to say very loudly--"and you are a married woman?" I was incredibly shy back then and my face turned beet red!
In a group project in 11th grade this girl kept asking me to borrow some lunch money even though I insisted that I was broke. Finally, I stood up, thrust my hands into my pockets and yanked them inside out, pulling them taut to prove my point. The girls in the group started laughing hysterically and only after I sat back down, bewildered, did I discover that my fly had been down.
I work at a hospital. While I was scheduling a test for a patient, he mentioned that his father had died at my hospital a year before. I heard myself say." I'm so sorry to hear that; I hope it was a good experience." Luckily he heard me in the spirit intended and said, "Oh, yes, it was a good experience."