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Sorry, honey. You're not going to feel any better, and now your makeup is smudged.
It's truly a sob story for those prone to waterworks displays: Shedding tears only improved mood in one-third of cryers who kept tabs of their bawling behaviors, finds recent research.
Apparently weeping isn't the cathartic emotional release it's often cracked up to be, sniff, sniff. Please pass the tissues.
Science has previously looked into boo-hooing with mixed results: After viewers in a lab setting watched a sad film clip, weeping was rarely found to boost mood -- but this might not be the best place to burst into heartfelt tears. Other studies have asked participants to recall past crying episodes. But retrospective surveys might not necessarily reflect actual behavior since memory can be selective, and people might not remember those times when wailing made them feel worse.
This new study, currently published online in the Journal of Research in Personality, asked 97 women aged 18 to 48 in the Netherlands to keep a daily crying and mood diary over a two-to three-month period. Men were not included in this experiment because the data was originally collected as part of a larger trial exploring the link between crying and the menstrual cycle.
Each night, participants logged their daily mood, their urge to cry, and whether they shed any tears. If they wept, they kept further details of each sob session, such as the reason for it, how long it lasted, how intensely they bawled, where it occurred, whether other people were around and how they felt afterward.
Scientists ended up with 1,004 crying episodes to analyze: Their results showed that the average boo-hoo lasted eight minutes and took place in the living room, usually alone or with one other person present. Conflict, loss, or seeing others suffer were the most common triggers for tears.
For the majority of cases -- 61 percent of them -- sobbers reported no change in mood compared to how they felt before moisture streamed down their cheeks. Thirty percent experienced a better mood afterward and nine percent felt worse.
"Only a minority of crying episodes were associated with mood improvement -- against conventional wisdom," says Jonathan Rottenberg, an associate professor of psychology at the University of South Florida in Tampa, and the study's lead author.
The study found little evidence of any psychological payoffs from crying. But interestingly, it observed that participants who sobbed with the greatest intensity -- but not for the longest amount of time -- enjoyed the biggest bang from their bawling: Their moods benefitted the most from shedding tears.
"Crying is not nearly as beneficial as people think it is," says Rottenberg.
Rather than encouraging people to cry, it makes more sense, he suggests, to encourage them to bolster their social networks. "When crying helps it's likely not because of the tears but because it recruits social support and draws attention to important problems," explains Rottenberg.
While crying around one other person likely leads to comfort and active problem solving, sobbing around more people might spark feelings of shame, he says.
What's been your experience? How do you feel after a good cry?
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First off, I haven't had a "good cry" in years. Every time I have tried to allow myself to cry I haven't been able to; only a few tears here and there usually as a result of a sad or touching movie. I remember years ago when I was still able to have a cry it was always very cathartic and improved my mood. I would give anything to be able to cry again.
Have someone plant a knee to your groin. That ought to get the tears flowing! Plus, that is probably the only Acceptable reason for a Man to cry!!
OnTheOtherHand - I hope that last line was meant as a joke. If not, what a huge disservice to men and boys everywhere. Everyone cries, it's part of the human experience.
David - If you feel like you should be crying, want to cry, but physiologically cannot, you may want to consider some help from a doctor. Anytime a system in our body isn't functioning correctly, it can be a warning sign of other things going on. Good for you to know yourself well enough to know what's normal and not.
I’m in the same boat as you David and I don't think it’s an accident. This article has a clear bias against crying. Using condescending language like “boo-hoo” and carrying an overall tone of disapproval. Crying is synonymous with weakness, and weakness is bad, bad, bad. Sucking it up is all well and good when you need to keep operating in the moment but if you can’t get that stuff out eventually it builds up and kills you. Maybe they should study repressed emotions and compare that to the people who cry and come back with a more balanced evaluation.
When faced with a problem, crying won't help you. Finding a solution will.
If you're faced with an emotional crisis of some sort, then I guess crying might help--after all, you need time to pull yourself back together.
I am with you. Sometimes I wish I could dump it all. Maybe, the study is right. I am not sure. In the past, crying felt good. Now, it just feels like I get tears in my eyes and I blink it away.
Crying is a childhood behavior. Why should an adult cry without real anguish? More importantly; why should men feel emotionally crippled when we stoically face adversity?
Good point, I usually just get pissed and fight the battle. maybe, that is what being a man is, I am cool with that.
Tears are bottled anger dripping out of us that could be better focused as violence.
Atomic: I thought you might be interested in Posts 10.12 and 10.22 about Norway.
There's crying and there's crying folks. I stopped crying when I banged my knees about when I was 6 years old. I sure as hell cried when my mother died when I was 40 years old but I've never cried when I've split up with a girlfriend, I felt sad but I didn't cry.
I've always felt that crying because you have suffered a severe loss is a healthy emotional release. I'm of the opinion that someone who doesn't cry if they have suffered the loss of a loved one has some issues.
There are a few films that have made me teary eyed but that's not what I call crying. Crying because you have a problem? I've never met anyone that does that. Crying is connected with loss and grief. I think anyone who feels grief because they have a problem has some weird issues.
One thing I have noticed as a man, is that if I have cried in front of a woman I don't know that they find it very alarming. It frightened them. I think there is some idea amongst women in our society that a strange man who is crying is some sort of a psychotic or something. That has happened to me twice and I never did it again. If I felt the need to cry I found a private place to do so or went to see a friend that wouldn't be disturbed by it. I find that really weird because my reaction to seeing someone cry is wanting to comfort them.
You don't have to cry in public and it is a tension stress release. When a person is overwhelmed or overburdened and needs to let go, why not? Better than paying $300 to a psychiatrist!
@Ontheotherhand:
You know what's funny about your post? I used to be a sponsored skateboarder (and still skate after 25 years). I've surfed for over 25 years, was a bicycle messenger in NY and DC with multiple traumatic incidents and have basically led what some might term an "extreme" lifestyle. I have personally had multiple lacerations, broken bones, solid objects thrust with great force into my groin region due to wipe-outs, a broken neck and lower back and way too many surgeries to count. Not once did I cry when subjected to those intense pains. I always thought that was for WIMPS... LOL. However, I will be more than open and admit that I cried when the I lost the love of my life, when several of my close friends died at home or at war and when I experienced a severe nadir in my life and had a difficult time providing for my family due to a lay-off.
With that said, I always put my head down and continue fighting, no matter what. Emotions are emotions. We are all human in the end and every one of us has a trigger that can elicit said emotions.
Therefore, I'm just going to say that your lame macho-man wanna-be post leaves me thinking that behind that supposed manly-man attitude lies a baby in disguise.. LOL.
Grow up....
Different people react differently to different situations. Don't mean they don't feel...
I used to cry quite a bit, now I can't remember the last time, maybe 6 years ago... On a patrol in Iraq, buddy who was about to go home took one in the... Aw, @!$%# it, I was more mad than sad... Emptied an entire clip into the dark. Then cried, or the other way around, don't know or think about it too much anymore, but I still feel it. @!$%#in' nightmares and @!$%#... war is hell. Combat is hell. I am crying now, but my tears roll backward... ain't gonna be a fag and boohoo like a bitch nigga!
@Shift Lock, Dude language. That is highly unnecessary.
Anyway I tend to be a very sensitive person and there has been a lot going on in my life lately that I don't quite know how to handle yet. It gets to be so much that I have to cry and crying always makes me feel better. If I have a lot on my mind that I can't handle and then cry, usually while crying I'll say things like I don't know what to do and I wish I had some help, I am able to think a little more clearly after I finish crying. It's like when you cry....all that excess in your brain clears itself out. Yeah sometimes you feel worse, but eventually you work it all out and feel better. As for the 'Real men don't cry' That's bull. It's human and that's what we all are. Anytime I see someone crying or upset, even if it was someone who hated me and picked on me in school, I went and talked to them and tried to make them feel better. I was taught to talk things out, talk about how I feel and that crying was ok. Crying is a emotional, physical, mental stress reliever. It is absolutely ok FOR ANYONE to cry. :)
@WildCatRay
You're right re the language dude, I'll tone it down, I was just writing from the heart. Anyways, is it OK for the president to cry in the manner that you describe in public? Or for a cop to cry while he is doing his job... Or for a priest to cry after he molests a boy? Oh, wait... the last one is OK (prior to shooting himself in the head for being the ultimate sicko).
Conclusion: It is not OK for people to cry all the time. You sound like you need more psychological help than I do... Wow dudette!
Another case of ridiculous assumptions based on inaccurate assessment of a study and inadequate interpretations. Ask a person who has held in those tears for years how s/he feels and see the results on health, happiness, and relationships. Notice this
Seriously, so those who sobbed the most intensely reported the most benefit, but they concluded that crying doesn't help? If crying didn't help, wouldn't the results be that no matter the intensity it didn't make a difference and that no one helped. Not to mention that of course if you ask people right after they cry if it helped they might say no since they were still processing the released emotions. This doesn't even cover substances released with tears, but basically another ridiculous study and even more ridiculous conclusions.
You are absolutely correct -- Lies, Damn Lies, then Statistics!
I agree completely.
I knwo when I just need to have a good cry and get rid of the pent up emotions, stress and feelings of helplessness.
I put on a good tear-jerker movie, get a glass of wine and a box of kleenex and have at it. I always feel much better the next day.
The movie "Always" is my movie of choice, or "Steel Magnolias". Gets the tears flowing everytime!
Like I have always said, studies only benefit those that commission them. I'm not sure what the goal was to this study besides another complete waste of time and money.
This is why one day milk is good for you next month it is bad, you can say that for a lot of different foods. When sales are down do a study to show the good. If no good comes from the study then don't publish it.
Pretty much any data can be manipulated to your advantage with just a little creativity and since we are the ADD nation nobody pays attention long enough to argue it.
This is if you actually gather accurate data which is very rare in these studies of human emotions.
Jumping off my soapbox. Hope I don't fall and start crying.
You made a good point.
who funded this nonsense? I hope not my tax dollars.
Unfortunately, probably was government funded. The only things that are not government funded are funded instead by corporations that have something to gain from the results and/or have paid for a certain outcome (you know that is true, unless you are totally Naive). I can't think of any entity that would benefit from not crying -- maybe the tissue manufacturers would like if the opposite results were reported. Based on David's comment, it might still work out, if the big pharmaceutical corporations now start Marketing a drug to make people cry -- the main ingredient could be onion juice, but they would give it a big fancy chemical name so they could charge $10 a bottle for it instead of 50 cents for an onion!
It says Netherlands. So if you are Dutch, I guess your government paid for the study. And if you aren't, well, I hope you will someday realize that science is worthy of public funding, even if many individuals don't comprehend the subtleties and the utility of the research.
I'm sorry, David. I hope you can release whatever needs to be released as well.
This is ridiculous too
"Crying is not nearly as beneficial as people think it is," says Rottenberg.
Rather than encouraging people to cry, it makes more sense, he suggests, to encourage them to bolster their social networks. "When crying helps it's likely not because of the tears but because it recruits social support and draws attention to important problems," explains Rottenberg.
While crying around one other person likely leads to comfort and active problem solving, sobbing around more people might spark feelings of shame, he says.
What do friends/family often say? Let it out...cry it out. They do, and feel better. And watching a movie and crying doesn't feel the same as crying over a death, break-up, tragedy, or old heartache. Also, if you knew you were recording your tears length, intensity, etc., wouldn't it skew the results since you would be consciously either crying or not?
The author also ignores why they cried, whether the person truly needed to release energy, whether s/he felt the situation cried about could be resolved, if other emotions were involved, etc., and the differences between personality types, situations, and so many other variables.
How about if a person needs to cry and cries intensely it is a different experience than crying to cry or a little tear coming out? How about they not generalize? Now I'm off to cry about this...sniff.
I'm with you totally! I cry when I Have To, when I can't help it. It seems downright silly to Try To Cry -- you either do or you don't, and hopefully you are in the presence of that/those supportive people or alone so you are not embarrassed. People that cry on purpose to get attention are being manipulative and that is fodder for a whole other ridiculous, useless study.
Another useless study. Of course no one feels better after watching a sad film clip, that kind of crying isn't beneficial. Duh.
yes...you would think that would be an obvious duh, but apparently not.
Sorry..I can't edit. I meant to put quotes in...
This is ridiculous too
What do friends/family often say? Let it out...cry it out. They do, and feel better. And watching a movie and crying doesn't feel the same as crying over a death, break-up, tragedy, or old heartache. Also, if you knew you were recording your tears length, intensity, etc., wouldn't it skew the results since you would be consciously either crying or not?
The author also ignores why they cried, whether the person truly needed to release energy, whether s/he felt the situation cried about could be resolved, if other emotions were involved, etc., and the differences between personality types, situations, and so many other variables.
How about if a person needs to cry and cries intensely it is a different experience than crying to cry or a little tear coming out? How about they not generalize? Now I'm off to cry about this...sniff.
I am a scientist, a doctor and mostly a human being. I always cringe at my colleagues attempting to over analyze the most basic parts of human nature. Many of them miss the point completely. Science is good and entertaining. But has little value to the condition of the spirit and mental health. Attempting to analyze these things may get you government grants and notoriety amongst peers. But it adds little value to us.
Jim, I agree with you. My background is in science and I am skeptical until I see some reason not to be skeptical for the most part. There are some intangibles that science just can't analyze at this point in time, and the conclusion that something can't exist or work because science can't specifically analyze it doesn't help the reputation of science or humans who might take scientists at their word without thinking things through.
Jim . . . Bingo! Could not have said it any better!
Nor could I. Good post, Jim!
This item alone conflicts with the study's final conclusion. The conclusion should not have been "Crying doesn't help." The conclusion should have been, "The more intense the crying, the more benefit is gained."
As in most studies, there are many flaws, one being the focus on the short-term. The short-term benefits are small, even helpful, but not as great as years of emotional release when crying is needed and released.
s in most studies, there are many flaws, one being the focus on the short-term. The short-term benefits are small, even helpful, but not as great as years of emotional release when crying is needed and released.
I like that!!!
Crying is not meant to give immediate satisfaction or euphoria. It is an emotional release that allows fear, frustration and anger not to accumulate and develop into cancer or other terrible disease.
Crying is not meant to give immediate satisfaction or euphoria. It is an emotional release that allows fear, frustration and anger not to accumulate and develop into cancer or other terrible disease.
I like it too!
Last time I had a really good cry was after my wife was tragically injured in an accident. It was two days post accident, I was going on 30+ hours and no sleep while Dr's struggled to save her. I was told our kids were being watched and would be ok and I needed to go home and get a shower, some food and rest. I couldn't pull myself away from the hospital, but eventually did. When I 1st walked in our home to the silence and it started as a whimper while I was kicking of my clothes walking back to the shower and by the time I was in the shower, my tears were doing a pretty job keeping up with the shower head. I wailed so hard I felt like I could literally die myself. But I knew inside I needed to be strong for our kids--but here I was alone. No one watching and after that shower and I got some clean 'jamas on and crawled into bed, I picked up a picture of my wife and I and I told her to Hang on, Dear! And I went to sleep holding her picture.
Long story short; After 22 days in a coma, she DID come back to us! She is a traumatic brain injury survivor now and our lives were all changed by this, but now, 10+ years later, we're still adjusting and no...I haven't cried like that ever before--or since. It was ultimate and I hope I never have to experience that again.
I'm sorry for all your family has gone through. I'm also glad you had a chance to release the pent-up emotions (even though it was horrible to experience) and that you were able to be strong for your family.
TakinIt -- it is funny how that works, isn't it? I admire your strength in dealing with this situation. When my mother died, I could not cry even though I was very sad. Four days later, when my sister got off the plane, we hugged and both flooded the airport with our tears. I always wondered what causes a delayed response/reaction like that -- perhaps one of the Scientists who previously posted would know the answer to that?
Having surgery doesn't often boost our moods either right away, but it can be part of the healing process just as therapy can be. After therapy some days I felt like crap, but I needed to get out what was stuck inside and it was healing in the long run. You hurt right after your appendix is removed, but that doesn't mean getting it out isn't beneficial. And the title and article are written in a flippant way that adds more erroneous conclusions in my opinion.
Nothing better for mood uplifting than a dump that brings tears to your eyes.
Your ignorance is only exceeded by your total lack of class. Not funny in the least!
I only weep for the future.
Tears from sorrow, sadness or other personal angst seldome make things better, but tears from laughing hysterically over something totally stupid: Priceless.
Good point on how wonderful those tears from laughter can feel.
When I get angry or stressed, I cry and I do feel better afterward. It feels like I am releasing the tension. I think crying due to loss is a whole other matter.
I would agree that if a person cycles through tears over and over and doesn't make changes to attitude or situation the tears aren't going to really be healing after a certain point. But that doesn't mean crying itself can't be a great thing.
My question is, have the researchers differentiated the results based on what precipitated the cry?
In my experience, when I cry for sadness (loss, disappointment, etc), I do NOT feel better afterwards because there is something deeper happening surrounding the situation.
However, when I cry because of built up stress/anxiety, I DO feel better afterwards. It relieves tension for me.
I'd be curious to know additional details regarding this study.
I've had those "good cries" before and I know I felt better. In between the sobs you kind of realize you need to pick youself back up and get better. I will say though when my grandma passed away the crying never helped my mood but I think there is a huge difference between crying over the loss of someone and crying over a frustration.
Not true, First, you can't make yourself cry on cue. It is a release function. When you cry, toxins are shed from the system. You do feel better. If you don't cry, the next emotion is usually anger which is far worse. Crying is the best defense against depression, anger, psychosis and fear. So have a good cry. Screaming is good too. Teach your children, especially boys, that tears are a good thing. Then, don't forget to have a good laugh.
If you think you can't cry on cue, I guess you never met my mother. She could turn on the waterworks when ever she wanted. I glad that was not passed along to us. My mother would beat me mercilessly to try to get me to cry and she would end up crying before I did. I sometimes cry at sad movies, when I was passing a kidney stone I think I had a tear or two, a couple of hours when I learned my grandfather died, and for about 10 minutes after my boyfriend left for Iraq, but tears are not the normal, even when really stressed.
Say what you will, but a good cry is better than holding up all those emotions pent-up for years, while they eat at you. A good cry DOES make me feel better.
A good cry has always made me feel better, also.
FFS. Women cry at the drop of a hat. What a lame study.
Mad, Happy, Sad, etc....I am one of those women that can cry at the drop of a hat. Every Christmas I cry at the Folger's commercials. It never fails. My kids keep a box of tissue by the TV just for me. They know me too well.
I will tell you this a laughing cry is the best.
I have found choking scientist who do lame studies is alot better at relieving stress than crying..... and you DO feel better!
What about tears of joy? I feel better after that! Oh well, as long as I'm not a sissy boy crying about something that I'm sad about, I feel great!
I couldn't help but notice that the participants in this study were to journal about their crying habits. Did they do this while crying or were they to wait a specific amount of time after? I ask because, while crying is thought to be related to catharsis and mood elevation, so is journaling. Was it a simple fill in the blank or an actual journal, where you could choose to be as detailed as you wanted? I'm not a scientist, so I don't know exactly HOW this could have affected the outcome, but I'm sure it's a possibility. Perhaps those who cried with intensity and reported feeling better also journaled WHILE crying, thus multiplying the catharsis. As others have pointed out, there's a lot wrong with this story, but the journaling is what really struck me.
Also, I don't think you start to feel better immediately after the last tear falls, but you take a couple breaths and you start moving forward. Oh, and counting crying over a movie is ridiculous. It's a completely different type of crying that has nothing to do with your own life and well-being. You're not crying for yourself or your loved ones, you're crying for people and a situation you're not involved in for more than two hours (three if it's Titanic).
If you cry because a movie had a happy ending and it made you feel good, how is that bad? Nothing wrong with having the occasional good cry if you feel like it. What a stupd study though.
I cry after most movies because I've just wasted $13 plus 2 or 3 hours of my life that I will never be able to get back. I know I'm missing talking about the movie while it is a current topic, but if I watch it later at home, I have at least not added insult to injury by all that wasted time and money.
You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll kiss 5 bucks goodbye - an old saying I use to hear, you can tell by the price...lol
ask cry baby, Boehner, what he thinks.
Boehner is one of the Phonies who cries for effect, to get attention. He is trying to elicit a sympathetic response from others, or perhaps trying prove something about being secure in his masculinity, since men were traditionally not supposed to be caught crying. Either way, he is very manipulative, but that is no surprise since he is a politician. The word Politics is derived from two other words: Poli, meaning "many" and Tics, meaning "small blood-sucking insects"!
That's true-The Weeper of the house is most certainly the biggest-phoniest cry baby of all time...