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Subscribe to RSSFor Theo Pauline Nestor, it’s always the “waitress nightmare.”
“I’m the only server on duty and suddenly the dining room fills with hungry customers,” says the 49-year-old writer from Seattle. “It takes me forever to take all their orders. And then by the time I do, the kitchen’s dark and the chefs have gone home.”
Nestor says the dream always ends with her having to return to the dining room to tell the hungry customers their dinners won’t be arriving.
“I’m filled with dread,” says Nestor, who hasn’t waited tables for 20 years. “I think it’s a dream about not being able to keep everyone happy no matter how hard I work. I have it about once a year, whenever I’m feeling overwhelmed.”
Anxiety dreams come in all shapes and sizes -- but whether they take you back to a hated job or the high school hallways, repetitive ones like Nestor’s waitress nightmare are very common, explains Berkeley-based dream expert Dr. Marcia Emery. But do they serve any purpose -- other than to freak us out?
“I call them ‘lost locker’ dreams,” she says. “You’re back in college, cramming for a final but you can’t find the locker or the textbook or the classroom. Or you’re giving a speech but can’t remember the words. You wake up in a sweat.”
While the dreams can be upsetting, Emery says they definitely serve a function.
“They help you check yourself out,” she says. “Their function is to get you to ask what you’re afraid of, what’s unfinished, where do you feel unprepared. They’re a wake-up call. There’s something that’s unresolved, usually an unresolved emotional problem.”
Nestor’s waitress dream, for instance, is an “overwhelm alert,” says Emery.
“With that dream, you’re on alert that you’re doing too much, that your hands are too full,” she says.
Other anxiety dreams can mean you’re ignoring something you shouldn’t.
“I knew someone who had a lost locker dream,” she says. “In his dream, he went to basketball practice but couldn’t find his locker. Or remember his combination. When he woke up, he realized he wasn’t spending much time playing basketball anymore. His dream was telling him to reclaim his athletic side that had been lost.”
Why do so many of these repetitive dreams take us back to high school, college or those horrible first jobs?
“I don’t want to oversimplify, but a lot of times it’s attached to an issue that goes back to that time,” says Emery. “If it’s high school, it’s going back to a time when you might have felt unworthy or uncomfortable about not completing your assignments. It often goes back to the time when these feelings were first generated -- when you first felt overloaded or overworked or overwhelmed.”
Dr. Beverly Thorn, a University of Alabama psychologist who specializes in stress, says one of the downsides of the repetitive anxiety dream is that the mere fact we’re having the same dream over and over stresses us out.
“We think ‘Oh my god, what does this mean? Why is this happening repeatedly?’” she says. “You set yourself up for being anxious about it and then it’s more likely to happen again. Instead, try thinking, ‘This is a normal process. This, too, shall pass.’”
She also says it’s important to reassure yourself that it’s only a dream.
“The brain does lots of wild things while we’re asleep and a lot of them have no real basis in reality,” she says. “Look at violent dreams: we don’t exactly know the purpose for them, but they’re normal and in no way suggest you’re going crazy. The more you normalize an anxiety dream and turn your attention to other things in your life, the more you’ll relax and you won’t be bothered by the dream much longer.”
Do you have any recurring anxiety dreams? Leave a comment telling us about it.
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I keep having this dream that I have a couple of fish tanks full of scary fish and I forget to feed them and they are VERY angry! They are in their tanks glowering at me and I become very afraid of them! They are usually in a darkened room. What the heck is that about?
Ever work at a pet store? If so, perhaps you now realize you were falling down on the job... And if not, and don't have fish yourself...yep that's a pretty weird dream alright.
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“We think ‘Oh my god, what does this mean? Why is this happening repeatedly?’” she says. “You set yourself up for being anxious about it and then it’s more likely to happen again. Instead, try thinking, ‘This is a normal process. This, too, shall pass.’” That sounds SO right, you can just sorta tell that it IS.
Bubaloos, I keep having the same dream! I have several fish tanks, but keep forgetting to feed them or clean out their tanks. Every time I come back, the fish have mutated, evolved into weird scary creatures that look prehistoric or alien, or perhaps into deep-sea fish. The darkened tanks get more and more frightening the longer I don't deal with them. They keep breeding, mutating and sometimes eating each other.
I think it represents something I am putting off, something I need to deal with, and the longer I ignore it, the worse the problem will get. Not fish (I used to be pretty good about taking care of my fish tanks) but something, probably something emotional or primal that you are keeping "locked up".
You probably forgot to feed your fish...
I had a dream a couple of years back (I'm 62) about being late to school and in a sort of cascading disaster ended up in the principal's office in deeper trouble. I woke up and laughed but I think like you say it was about being overwhelmed with many (too many) tasks at work. I could not figure the dream out at the time of course because being tardy to work was NOT a problem ever for me.
I have had awful dreams (rarely thank goodness) about being murdered (one memorable one was like being a gangster shot on some steps outside a building), like experiencing being shot and dying. Awful. That one made you not want to go back to bed for sure. I guess it's fears that we all have, especially with graphic TV showing us the experience to incorporate.
Send me your dreams and I will interpret them for free. I have studied dreams for many, many years.
@DivineU.com by using the contact function.
I have a reacurring dream: It is late night and I am in a large city...All the street lights and building lights are on. I am trying to find my way home but there is noone in the city. I go in and out of the buildings...noone.
I am getting anxious and moving faster, trying to find help...finally I run out into the street and leap into the air and fly away (superman style). I feel better now that I am flying.
I'm always running out of time to get somewhere, and other people's problems keep holding me back. I think I am not giving enough consideration to my own problems.
I used to have one all the time about being a passenger in a car and suddenly there was no driver!! Or there would be a driver but he would be passed out or otherwise strcken. Then I would struggle to get behind the wheel to control the car.
I have a out of control car recurring dream, too. I am trying to get control of the car, but the situation always makes it impossible. Like suddenly I'm not only driving one car, but i also have control of another that is suddenly without a driver.
I also have out of control car dreams. Apparently they represent an out of control situation in your life, or simply one which you feel you have no control over. I was told that if you're driving the car, it shows that you're trying to take control of the problem; if you're a passenger, it represents the total helpless feeling you have about the situation. I work in international business/operational psychology and move often, usually at short notice, and find that I always have these dreams before a move or beginning with a new corporation! The level of my anxiety about the upcoming changes usually dictates if I'm the driver, the passenger, or the driver of a suddenly driverless car!
These dreams are among the most common anxiety dreams, so you're not alone!
I have had several hundred rather rambunctious dreams that thorough theory practice and understanding I have judged they are fake- not from the elohist and not from the prince of darkness- fake like Dora the explorer fake and ondyine the ulgly fake. Say toodaloo to your secular humanist art and philosophy-READ ISSAC NEWTON'S CHONOLOGY OF ANCIENT KINGDOMS AMENDED- read it and weep
I'm in high school. I can't remember what my next class is or what time it starts. When I remember, I can't find the room. There isn't anyone around to ask. I keep running the halls to find someone.
I have several reoccurring "school" dreams. In one of them I realize that I have missed a class all year (usually some type of math) and now have to take an exam without knowing anything. In another I am constantly running up and down halls trying to get to my next class on time and I cannot get into my locker because I cannot remember the combination. When I was in high school I really never could remember my combination many times, especially after being on holiday. My best friend usually remembered and would open it for me. Sometimes I have these dreams when I am stress, but otherwise I feel like they just randomly pop up. I have them several times a month. I also have what I call "punching dreams," where I am fighting someone off, but no matter how hard I punch at them to get away all of them are ineffectual and barely register. Sometimes in my dreams I am laughing or crying and when I wake up I am really laughing or crying!
wow! i have the EXACT same dreams! i was reading your comment and it felt like i was the one who wrote it.
Wow, I have both those same dreams that you do. I have to go take a final exam for a class I've never once attended all year and/or i cannot remember my locker combination.
Thats funny...I have the same one too!!
I have exactly the same recurring dream about not having attended a math class all year and then not being ready for the final. Odd, because I did quite well in college and don't recall being stressed out over it.
The locker dream, etc don't apply to me, but the first one you describe is dead on.
I get the school dream all the time-- except for me, it's a Reading class....something that should've come pretty easily to me, that I just blew off. Now it's the last week of school, and I realize I have some huge project to put together, and I haven't been to class....haven't read any books....my participation grade is at opr near 0....etc.
Come to think of it, I've gotten it once or twice with a math class, too. I go in for the first few days, get totally overwhelmed, skip a few months and then come back and I'm even more overwhelmed because I don't know the stuff the rest of the class does.
My weirdest one, though, was when I dreamt I had diabetes and just sort of ignored it for three months. Oddly, without any terrible consequences. I probably had this dream not long after my sister got diagnosed....
Same test dream although I'm in college (in actuality this was life imitating dreams or vice versa).
I have recurring dreams about snakes that have nothing better to do but torment me! When they make their appearance they are absolutely trying to get to me. They jump, they slither or just wait for me to make my move. I have a dream dictionary and it explains them as people in my life who are trying to do me harm, so when I do have these dreams I become terribly paranoid!
I have the same dream. I realize I have a final or test for a class I've forgotten to take all year. History pr math. Usually college but at least once highschool. I can't find my schedule and am having a hard time finding the room. Seems like a common dream!
This article is somewhat incorrect in that sometimes school dreams may be referring to a specific time period in which you developed a false belief or attitude, but the majority of all school dreams are to show you your overall place in fulfilling your soul's life plan. All dreams have meaning and purpose whether you pay attention to them or not. You can get FREE dream interpretation at divineu.com by using the contact function. No strings attached.
@BubaloosIzzy: Your fish tank dream is showing you that you need to feed your spiritual side and seek and be more compassionate. Your car dream with no driver is showing you that you are not taking charge of your own life and direction. You MUST always be the driver of your own vehicle.
Also, snakes are never to be feared for they represent the wisdom that is trying to awaken within you. They're trying to breakdown the walls of fear that you have built up through false beliefs. ANYTIME you awake from a fearful dream, immediately close your eyes and picture the images again, only this time let things play out. For example, if you are being chased by snakes in a dream and you awake in fear, immediately go back into the dream or picture it again and let them approach you or bite you or enter you and give thanks for it. Fear not. Also ASK what is it that I must learn from this?
I have the same dream often. I am usually in some kind of extremely large building or sometimes a shopping mall. There is construction going on where large holes are blocking passage in the direction I am going with all sorts of ramps and temporary bridges crossing those spaces. I hurry down halls, through doors and cannot find my way out. I have the feeling I am trying to get somewhere that I don't even know where, but there are just too many obstacles in my path.
It seems to me it is a reflection of the reality of my life as it is now. I feel stuck or trapped in the place I am in and the conditions that come with it. I see no immediate way out. I am indeed frustrated as much as I am in those dreams. I only hope to learn what they are telling me, if anything.
I thought I'd elaborate on this post since it shows a desire to make a connection from our dreams to reality. I think most readers, including myself, were hoping for some insight on that, but this article fell short. At any rate, when attempting to interpret the content of your dreams, what's important is the feelings they generate, not the specific circumstances or environments. Generally those circumstances / situations are similar to your real life experiences ( often, but not always, involving memories created when you were younger ), but they are only the vehicle created to induce a certain feeling or feelings. In order for the details of the dream to be relevant, they have to match the feelings you get in the course of the dream. Using the ( erroneously interpreted ) example above, just because the locker you can't remember the combination for ( and are experiencing anxiety as a result of ) happens to be at "basketball practice" doesn't mean that your brain is telling you that you need to engage in more sports / activity: on the contrary, it may be highlighting the fact that you already have too much on your plate! As far as the connection between feelings encountered in your dreams and current issues in your life ( emotionally speaking ), they are certainly real and relevant. Brain activity represented in dreams feeds directly from our waking emotional states, and serves to remind us when attention to our real life issues is lacking. Although an occasional dream of this sort is to be expected in life ( assuming proper sleep patterns, of course ), there is no such thing as a "normal" successive recurrence of "lost locker" dreams: unless "normal" means that you're willing in life to leave important ( often deep-rooted ) emotional issues unresolved.
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Tailz
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Mary,
You have to ask yourself: "What must I do to become who I am?
( Remember that who you are is not what you do or what you have )
Only you can know the answer to this question.
Then you must plan, prepare, and proceed to do whatever is required.
In doing so you build the bridge to who you are.
You then live into who you are, becoming whole and complete as you embark and proceed on your journey across this bridge and through the life that is a natural result of who you are.
This could simply be the feeling of being overwhelmed manifesting in your dreams, but I suspect it is something more. Perhaps you feel that you have to fight for everything and that nothing comes easy for you, hence the obstacles. If this is the case, simply affirm otherwise and believe it. Try saying "Everything comes to me easily, naturally and effortlessly."
I have a recurring dream about High School (even though I graduated back in 1968 !!). I don't have a Math textbook and haven't attended any Math classes and I'm wondering whether my Math teacher (a man) will ever realise one day that I'm not in class and never have been. I also dream that I come to school and can't find which room my classmates are in, nor can I find a class schedule.
When I was in my college years, I used to have very vivid nightmare type dreams on a pretty regular basis, and I used to remember my dreams frequently. They were almost never good dreams. I was always in stressful situations, dealing with losing family members, unable to help people, etc, in these dreams.
Once I started writing them down (I kept a notebook next to my bed so I could write them down before I sat up in bed since you can lose a lot of that information just by sitting up) and analyzing what they could possibly mean, they started to fade. Once I realized what my subconscious was trying to tell me, things like I was afraid of losing my friends because I hadn't been spending time with them, or I was overworked trying to balance work and school, the dreams started to fade.
Now I only have them once in a great while when I'm under stress, but for the most part, those types of dreams don't plague me anymore.
Recently, I've been having two recurring dreams. The first is I am in a rickety elevator and never seem to get to my floor. The other is where I'm in a strange place and can't find my way home.
I am always back in high school and frustrated because I wonder why I have to go through it all again when I have already graduated.
I also have a recurring dream that I go back to my old home and find the fish tank almost totally dried up yet there are still fish living in the last bit of the water. Also, I see my pet parakeet and realize he hasn't been fed in years. In the same dream I start looking at the caller ID and see old calls from years before.
I also have a recurring dream that I'm back at my first job of 1979 and I'm thinking what the heck am I doing back here. I hate being there working again for that first boss.
I also have another recurring dream that I have invited people to a party and haven't been able to prepare any food for them to eat !! What a nightmare.
Both my parents died many years ago and left property to my sister and myself in their Will. I keep having this recurring dream that they're alive again and living back at the property and I don't know how to tell them that it's no longer theirs.
So strange that this article came out today because last night I had one of these these types of dreams. I had a dream that our son was in his crib and in hand restraints and he was crying so hard it broke my heart. I could not get down the hall to take care of him. I woke up in a sweat and had to remind myself that our son is a happy 25 year-old newlywed.
My recurring and annoying dream involves moving back into the home we lived in for 21 years- despite it being owned and lived in by someone else. I keep thinking it will all be ok and that they won't mind if we just come "home" again. Obviously, I just long to "go home" again- which will never happen. It makes me very sad, tho. Not a good dream, at all.
I have a dream very similar to this one. My grandparents lived in the same city as me all the way through high school, then moved but not too far. I always have the same dream that I go back to the house and my grandma is usually in the kitchen. I know that another family lives there (though I never see them), but my grandma tells me that it's okay that we are there. She says that the family that bought the house knows she comes back, but that they don't mind at all. I feel very uncomfortable being there because it is no longer my grandparents house, but enjoy it at the same time because everything is still the way my grandparents had it when they lived there!
Over and over, I am back at college and its the night before the last day of classes. A paper is due tomorrow and I haven't read any of the five books required to write the paper (much less started the paper). Nothing like this ever remotely happened to me. I was always early completing my assignments (and being an engineering major, I didn't have many papers to write anyway). I can not describe the sheer terror I feel until I wake up.
I have recurring dreams similar to what mtk wrote, only it's not a math class. It's like English or Social Studies, where I have to get reports and written assignments turned in, but I'm letting that class work slip by and concentrating on other courses. Sometimes the dream covers the whole semester, where every week I get further and further behind, and the end of the class is approaching but I've done NOTHING the entire semester, and I'm wondering how I'll ever get a decent grade with no work turned in. It's occurs in high school, but I graduated in 1960!
I had a recurring one about being and my grandparents house when I was little. (I am no early 40's) I to hide and would have to go up to the attic to get away. There were always weird secret passages that I had found and would remember each time how to get there to hide from something, someone?. It was always terrifying and I would finally have to jump out the window to get away. I used a trash bag to help me float down. It was always dark and on a mountain for some reason so I would have to run through brush, etc to get away.
I am suddenly informed that I have to fly somewhere and I am rushing to the airport at the last minute trying to catch the plane before I miss the flight.
I have the dream in which I am back in college and suddenly realize that I haven't been to class all term. I try to find the class, but on the way to the building, I run into other buildings which are wild mazes of stairs and hallways.
The other recurring dream is about the house I lived in when I was 12 and my father abandoned my mother and me. We had to move out of the house in a rush. I dream that there is a secret room that no one knows about but me. To get to the room, you must crawl through passages, etc. There are items in the room that I think are important and we need to go to the room to get them, but I can never show anyone where the room is. The last time I dreamed it, I finally got my father to follow me through the passage, and we ended up on the roof of the house instead of in the room. We were looking at the roof of the house and he was pointing out the different areas to me (porch, living room, etc.) to prove that there was no space for a secret room.
Wow! Really interesting stuff. I've had most of these dreams as well, and they almost always coincide with something important at work that I'm behind on.
The lost locker/forgotten combination. The class that I've been missing all year. Not being able to find the classroom. And repeating school all over again, knowing in my mind that I've already graduate college!
I've also had the ineffectual fight dreams before. Trying to fight but my punches are ineffective, or having a gun that shoots a bullet about 2 feet, then drops to the ground.
When I was younger (in high school and early 20's), I used to have "superman" dreams. I could fly sometimes. I could run and jump on rooftops. I could fight 20 people at a time and had amazing ninja skills! I used to have telepathy in many of my dreams and make objects move with my mind.
I have a lot more of the stress dreams now, and fewer of the superman dreams.
I have the flying dreams regularly. Most times it's not the main part of the dream, but it just happens in the middle of the dream. I don't have wings. Instead it's like gravity doesn't have much control over me. I can will some of the up and down movement, but most of the time I usually end up going too far up in the sky or some corner of a room. It's scary being out of control.
Ha ha! I suppose the dream is about feeling out of control. My hubby says I like to always be in control. Oh boy!
I have few of them. One is not finding my locker and when I finally do I cant remember the combination and If I'm lucky enough to get it open I cant remember what class I'm going to so I don't know what to grab or where to go. Another is I'm being chased by something or someone who is trying to harm me and I have a gun but I cant find the bullets and when I do find them I do not know the right size for the gun. another is a flying dream I seem to be running away from something and I need to get to a high place so I can jump and then glide down before I start flying. If I know I'm in a dream I can fly and if not I wont jump because I'll break my neck at least that would be true in the real world.
I have packing dreams. My family is in a rented house or hotel room, the plane is leaving soon and I'm packing everything with no help. No matter what drawer or cabinet I open, there are important things that I have to find room for, I'm running out of time and no one is helping me. Not too hard to figure out, but VERY annoying. I'm usually in a bad mood for hours after I wake up.
I have the packing dream too! I have it more often than the school dream. I am away from home in a dark, messy place and need to pack and get back home but there is so much to pack and I don't have enough time. I wake up stressed and upset and will have a headache from it.
My reoccuring dream: Customers are coming into my house and stealing, I'll sleep walk and hide my stuff. It freaks my husband out. lol
I dreamed last night that my gender had been mis-assigned at birth (i'm almost 50!) and I was actually a man.
It was extremely awkward not just because I've always been a woman, with a very curvy figure, but I also had just gotten a date with a really cute boy for a fraternity formal or the prom. I told him that I was actually a boy but that I would still go to the party with him if he wanted me to and he said "sure." Then I asked him if he wanted me to got as a boy or a girl and he told me to choose!
WTH could a dream like that mean? I have always had wild dreams but that one was a REAL doozy!
It means that whether you realize it or not, you're both male and female. We all are. Souls have no gender for gender serves no purpose for the soul. It is only in physical manifestation where gender is used as a tool for the soul to experience and express. In truth, you consist of masculine and feminine energy as do all things in the universe. The active and the passive. More than likely, you are ignoring or have been ignoring your masculine side. Perhaps you are a girly girl and rely solely on your intuition and instincts. The dream is showing you that you are also male and have the ability to use your left brain as well as you do your right. Then learn to the bring the two together as one.
I forever had the same dream about being at the Lord's Last Supper and being "judged." It seems I was always dismissed in some way as not being good enough or maybe something more horrific...
My mom a strict Catholic German may have been part of the problem. I no longer have the dream but it's as though once I confronted her when I was 40, of all she had overjudged me on, the dream stopped. Weird I know.
I have a double hex - having been a high school teacher for 30 years. There is a lot of fodder there for dreams; but the reality is that the dreams are a kick, just like the job was. In the dreams, I am having those struggles of trying to find the room, trying to get equipment for my job (biology), and trying to gather the students all into one place. None of it is upsetting, it just "is". I enjoy my dreams and am frustrated at the limited recall that prevents very much analysis. AND it is worth repeating that the real time job was a joy, was fun, was a constant adventure.
Start as dream journal so that you can analyze them. Intention is key. If you intend to recall your dreams you will. Try saying and repeating three times before going to bed the following: "Tonight I will dream and upon awakening, I will remember my dreams in clear detail."
Typically, dreams of past experiences take you there to show you when an anxiety or fear first manifested. This occurs to show you what you are doing to yourself in order for you to heal yourself. It is showing you when you first picked up a behavior, belief, attitude or habit. It allows you to see how it all started so that you can acknowledge it, release it and let it go.