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Subscribe to RSSAre older women sexually adventurous because they, perhaps unconsciously, are desperate for a baby?
In a study released this week, a team of University of Texas graduate students led by Judith Easton wanted to know what happened to sexual feelings and action after peak fertility, but while women are still fertile. What would evolution have programmed women to do?
Well, if you follow the study’s conclusions, evolution has programmed women to act a lot like "The Real Housewives" of Orange County/New York/D.C.: horny and willing because they want to take that waning fertility for a workout.
The team based that conclusion on an online survey of 827 women. They divided those women into three groups of “high fertility” (18-26), “low fertility” (27-45) and “menopausal” (46 and older).
“We found that women in the 27-45 age group were much more willing to have sex after knowing somebody one evening, one week and one month, than younger women,” Easton told me.
This group was also more likely to have frequent and more intense sexual fantasies, and a more active sex life overall.
Interestingly, it didn’t matter if women in the low fertility group already had children or not. “It was strictly age-based,” Easton said. “That was pretty surprising.”
Easton and her colleagues found that the older women got, the more sexually willing they were until they hit menopause, at which point it started heading south.
Hmm. As msnbc.com's sex columnist, this made me skeptical. Was this about evolution, or experience? The study did not ask about sexual experience. Isn’t it possible that with more experience, women demystify sex, are more confident, and become more willing to have it on flimsier pretexts (like, say, because it’s fun), not to unconsciously take their fertility out for a jog? Easton agreed that was a potential confounding notion.
But, she pointed out, the menopausal women had fewer sexual fantasies and were less willing to bed a near-stranger so it’s not just experience. Yes, I countered, but as any man who has lived with a menopausal woman can tell you, all sorts of behavior changes, not just sexuality, thanks to our friends the hormones. The group did not test for hormone levels.
Another possibility, Easton agreed, is that our culture has finally decided that it’s O.K. – and some might say there’s even pressure -- for older women to be hot, act hot, feel hot. But whether it’s fertility, or culture or experience, Easton said, the study “sort of does support the idea of the cougar.”
Are women more confident? Experienced? Want a baby? Why do you think women are more sexually willing as they get older? Tell us in the comments.
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Smells like B.S to me. I have two kids and as much as I love them, I don't want to have any more children. I am sexually adventerous because I am comfortable with my partner, and because I don't feel pressured to be pregnant or to get pregnant. I perceive that this study adds to negative stereotypes about older women too. Just another excuse for young mothers to throw their babies like footballs at women who are not mothers, or not currently mothers. It is almost as if Scientists and others cannot accept that women might just like to have sex once in a while for no other reason than it feels good. It cannot be that. It must be because we are "desperately grasping for an identity and status through the exclusive act of birthing."
Younger women are pressured [feel pressured], because they are inundated with propositions. And after a while it gets very old. Young women have to navigate a much different sexual scene than older women, one that affects their social viability to a much greater degree. In addition to that Men have ownership issues with any woman who says yes to sex, that is where we get words like *Stalker. Older women however, are more independent, and less likely to put up with that mentality. They are not as intimidated by men or what others think, and they know their bodies better. So of course they feel more comfortable having sex when they want to, and how they want to. Babies may or may not have anything to do with this.
It's like the people conducting this study replaced Freudian Penis Envy with Baby Envy. Neither are realistic assumptions. And I cannot help but wonder if the participants of this study were gathered from Fertility Treatment Waiting Rooms given the results.
I know plenty of women, older women who have raised their kids, and are happy being independent adults again, going back to college, going back to work, starting their own businesses, enjoying having a *Clean House and a car without icecream stuck to the interior. They enjoy being able to get naked on the couch with their husbands whenever they want in the privacy of their newly child free home, or they feel okay dating without having to worry about whether the dude's a pedophile who is more attracted to their children than to mommy.
When the kids are off, and independent, it gives the woman Me Time and That is very conducive to Sex. You get to go to the bathroom ALL by yourself. You don't have to share the last fragment of icecream in the fridge, or hide somewhere to eat your chocolate. Mothers love their babies, but Mothers are people too. And they have identies other than just being a mother. And they are sexual creatures as well, and that is not all tied up in fertility. Women in general have their own identities and not all of them want to become mothers.
That should be respected, and not dissected.
I don't understand how your personal life figures into this? You turned a study of over 800 participants into your personal craving for chocolate and ice cream. That makes no sense.
Biologically, your body acts the way it does whether you want to accept it or not. You say it's age and comfort that make you want more sex. The study says it's primarily a matter of age. So, you do agree to an extent with what was said.
I am so in agreement with comment #1 above from sundog!!! Women are people -- not just mothers. I am a mother and also in my 40s. I am finally more confident with myself, my imperfections, and my relationship with my husband. And I have sex because it's fun, not because I want another baby! I can't wait to have MORE time to choose my activities instead of going with what one of my children needs. Don't get me wrong...I dearly love my children, but children - by their very nature - are needful beings. I'm tired. I'm overworked. I'm bombarded with requests. My sex drive goes up when the children get older -- simply because it can. Don't attribute that to "baby fever".
I would say as a 50 year old woman with a 30 year old son and twin 6 year old girls that I sure didn't start enjoying and wanting sex more when I was in my late 30s and up until now because I was desperate for a baby...lol. I was finally in a good relationship that chose, old and experienced enough to know what I like and to enjoy sex, and it had nothing to do with being desperate for babies. Since many women as they get to the 30s and 40s are raising kids and not focused on making more babies, this sounds a bit biased to me.
Yes, some might want more kids, but the ones I know who got pregnant in late 30s and 40s mostly were surprised and not too thrilled until they got used to the idea. I agree with it being time to enjoy sex without the pressures of small children keeping us up at night, climbing in bed, and keeping us focused on them all day. While I did choose to have my two girls and wouldn't change a thing, I know many women who still think I was nuts for wanting to have more past my early 30s.
Also, I would say the opposite of what the study concluded is true. I think more want sex later because there is less chance (although of course there is a chance) of getting pregnant into the late 40s, and many of the women I know aren't really that interested in sex when they are younger after they marry and/or have kids. They don't know what they like and how to feel good, don't see it as a priority, and often don't feel they can ask for whatever they would like. I do think perhaps the reasons women tend to enjoy sex more as they are a bit old are more inversely related to having more children, actually.
The many factors that this study did NOT take into consideration in coming to this ridiculous conclusion point out how flawed the thing is----sounds like the conclusion came before the study in the mind of the perpetrator.
No matter what your age (I'm a 72-year-old female), when you're healthy, self-confident and feel good about how you look, you feel sexy. When you're with someone who is also healthy, self-confident and attractive, you feel sexy. Unfortunately, too many older people allow their health and appearance to decline, which makes them less attractive to others. It's more about our attitude than our age.
So true, and thanks for the inspiration.
Jean! I should've read and responded to YOUR comment before posting mine below!!!
My personal motto is and has always been: Attitude is Everything ... and that goes for every aspect including sex! You're sooooooo right! You've got it by the handle!!!
The studies seem to be leaving out the way-beyond-menopause women for some reason. I'm almost 62 and still seem to be attracting men in their 30's........(and younger ) and it's not about money. Maybe it's because I am NOT of child bearing age and still really enjoy sex. Men of all ages have been interested in me - so many more than when I was younger. I think it's about self confidence. I still have the desires and am definitely not interested in having children at this point. I am more careful about with whom though than when I was younger and would rather go without than compromise. We have less sex when we are raising children because we are just too busy !!! The sex gets better as you grow beyond the impulsive biological imperative. Study up on your Tantra.
Well, if Mother Nature's giving it one last go, she's in for a rude awakening. I (and all of my intentionally, happily, enthusiastically child-free girlfriends) am thrilled to death about the time, energy, and money I now have to dedicate to relationships (and romantic getaways and gym time and quiet time and friend time and dog time and volunteer time). The time that frazzled parents struggle so hard to carve out. Mama, I wouldn't trade this for anything. In fact, the only thing I'm driven to do at this point is get my tubes tied to make it really really official.
Just what are they trying to say here? It sounds like they are saying that if a woman really likes sex she will have it with anyone. How insulting. I've had a high sex drive since I can remember and I've had multiple orgasms since I new what an orgasm was. I have even had them in my sleep. I do not now have now nor have I ever had a proclivity for casual sex and my tubes have been tied since I was 26. I'm now 46 and sex is better then when I was in my 20's and I am NOT promiscuous. Since I'm not even remotely interested in having children and I'm well past the child bearing age then why do I like it so much? Why do other women like it so much? I'll tell you why. Women still have great sex in their 40's and beyond because it feels good. Why do we need any other excuse? Society (men in particular) are terrified of female sexuality. Men have been trying to control women biologically since the beginning of recorded history. Who paid for this study???? What a waste of money.......
Please don't hate me, but I am in agreement with the premise that women have a higher sex drive when they are reaching menopause. I am 38 and nearing menopause (family history of early menopause), and I have definitely noticed an increase in my desire to become a mother again. I am divorced with 2 children, and the prospect of not having children again makes me seek younger men who are eager to have a family. The article does not state that women like me would sleep with anyone anytime, but rather that we have an increased sexual desire for the child-bearing purpose and I would agree.
Amazing how many people want to deny biology because it supposedly makes older women "look bad". It is what it is, which is a normal part of life, not some evil plot to make older women look desperate.
The author of the article says:
My response is A) perimenopausal period and its symptoms on average last only 4 years while postmenopause period will go on another 30, 40, 50 years so to blame decreased desire on the affects of relatively short perimenopausal years is not particularly valid and seems to be the author's far reach to support his own personal conclusions and B) hormone levels fall under the category of...wait for it...biology, not an evil conspiracy, and biology is what it is and does what it does which is what this study attempts to show.
Those who pan the study by stating their own anecdotal experience that they enjoy sex more and have more sex now because they are comfortable with their ongoing partner are completely ignoring a large part of the findings which show that the age group of women being evaluated are much more likely to have sex with virtual strangers (1 night/1 week) than the other age groups. This shows that how comfortable you are with your partner seems to have much less to do with it than you may think.
You're acting like the study said women are doing this consciously which couldn't be further from the truth. In fact the study states:
One of the basic biological functions of living entities is the instinct to replicate and keep the species going. One way this manifests itself is through increased female sexual desire during ovulation in nature's attempt to ensure impregnation of the woman before the egg is infertile. Hundreds of studies show this. With this in mind, the idea that nature also attempts to ensure impregnation of a woman before she runs out of eggs is not just valid, its likely. To deny the later is like denying the former when we know the former to be true.
The author of this article could use a remedial lesson in the use of Occam's Razor. The simplest answer is likely the correct one.
Thank you, Mike. My sentiments exactly.
The older women get, the more they look, act, and behave like men. Then they complain men leave them for younger women. Men leave them for women, they turn into men.
Excuse me, please. At 70 I still look (according to doctors, friends, new acquaintances) mid-40's. I do NOT look like, act like nor behave like a MAN. Where are YOU coming from? ...
FrannieFran40 Denial is not a river in egypt. Typical dumbass argument "I dont look act and behave like a man, therefore its not true" You may be on drugs or delusional and would deny it if it bit you in the leg. Please save this stupid way of arguing for your coffee club. Post menopausal women, if they cant find a man slave to support them get lapdogs or cats. The claims they are sexually active are a joke, trying to compete with younger women for men.
In my 70 years as a male on this planet I have encountered quite a few women , who in their mid thirties to early forties agreed to an sexually encounter, with the expressed opinion and promise that they do not want any children.That they are "on the pill". Then in the heat of the sexual encounter they verbally enticed me to " I want you to come inside of me" , and it turned out they were not on the pill.Some women were more honest and approached me point blank about having a baby with me.So the spectrum of female behavior in respect to procreation includes those who would never do something like that to those who would do anything to have a baby before its to late.One size never fits all.
There was no mention of how many of these women were married. I suspect that a great many of them were divorced since we all know that there is no such thing as sex after marriage. (At least with your spouse.)
Never in my 70 years was I ever promiscuous. Married to my husband of 35 years and father of my 2 children who died of AIDS in 1994, I survived without contacting the disease and was his caregiver to the "end". I'd passed menopause earlier ... and as a widow felt reborn as a woman. I began dating and slept with several men. The excitement for me was the realization that I COULDN'T become pregnant. I met my current partner and we've been together since 1996. Sex is more fun and gratifying to me at the age of 70 than earlier in my life.
FrannieFran40 We have never seen a woman do the Virgin Mary act before. Nobody believes you. If you push the subject a polygraph exam would make a liar of you.
I'm a 44 year old male. With regard to this study, my experience has been and continues to be that older womens' sex drive are driven by this biological "ticking" clock. I've been approached by many close females friend in their 30's and early 40's wanting to have children with me. These women have all what society may regard as being successful - careers, cars, and condo's (the 3 c's I like to call it). But they lack that first, second and even that 3rd child. However, the study did not take into considerartion that younger women are sexually driven more than older ones by the size of a man's wallet (security) - rather that his performance - as older women claim to be more into.
Aw these poor schmuck guys posting here... it never ceases to amaze me.. I'll read something like what Shiva, above wrote, about men being terrified of women's sexuality, and wanting to be in control of it, and I think, "That's not true, men aren't really like that.." and then I read the posts from these guys here and Shiva's point comes across loud and clear. But hey-- keep running your mouths, and keep watching your porn. No doubt, young women may be at the peak of physical beauty-- but so what? Like most guys that age, they don't know much about anything-- hardly anyone does at that age. But then let such women ripen over the next twenty, thirty, forty years.. and they're a hell of a lot sexier and "there" while you're with them. Not THAT-- not the super cute twenty three year old-- gives ME pussy on the brain. I hope these other guys figure that out before they waste too many more years on internet porn and.. what? I'd say it's "macho" pride only it isn't macho; it's lame.
Ninja, take your nastiness somewhere ELSE.
How sad. When I entered the dating scene at 40 I was hoping that men would get better with age. Some of the cruel posts here proved the opposite to be true. I have always liked many things about men. I was a huge tomboy since I thought boys definately had more fun. I am truly dissapointed. Here's what I have found: Men say the want an attractive, sensual, confident, intelligent, successful woman but they really mean is this:
1. Be attractive but not so pretty but not so pretty that they feel they are out of your league.
2. Be intelligent but not brilliant.
3. Be sexual but don't enjoy it too much (or you might be having it with everyone)
4. Be confident but don't be too confident or they think you don't 'need' them.
5. Be successful but don't outshine them.
Let me get this straight. If I like sex at 46 then I'm a creepy old cougar? I don't want a young man. I leave them for my daughter to date. I want an equal, a peer.
Also: let me let you men in on a little secret. Woman are more sexual than men. Read a romance novel or two. Women's literature is full of some of the steamiest sex scenes you will ever read. We are capable ofa deep sensuality you can only dream of. If you ever get a taste of it in your lifetime you will be lucky.Women want a full scale production with lots of foreplay. They want an intense heightened sexual experience.We can have multiple orgasms boys. That must scare the crap out of you since most of you can't keep up. I'm here to tell you that sex with my boyfriend who is also in his 40's lasts a minimum of 1 hour. The longest session was 6. That's with no artifical help of any kind. The only thing that is holding back women's sexuality is the crass, vulgar attitides of insensitive men. I do not 'compete'with women in there 20's. I don't need to. I also don't need a man to take care of me since I am quite successful. That must realy frighten an imature less confident man.The 20 year olds are welcome to these men if they'll have them. The qualties I look for are maturity, intelligence, wisdom and kindness. These are the things that turn me on. I am a real woman, not a blow up doll or a fake boobed porn star and I reserve myself for quality individuals.
shiva90000 Men your age know youre full of sh!t. A loser who could not keep a man.
We expect to hear you say he was abusive. Parrot those lines.
Women like you who cannot commit to a man are a red flag to other men, big clue. About all you will get is the desperate men, who know you have no objection to moving on to the next guy.
Since the older men see you for what you are, with your history of being a loser, and looking at Justin Biever makes you a pervert. Get a few cats.
this is really an observational study, it is not an experiment. They did not measure any hormone levels, they have no idea if these women are ovulating regularly, if these desires coincide with ovulation, and further, low and high fertility groupings are very rough and do not accurately capture a woman's fertility. No doctor would ever consider a 27 yo woman low fertility. These groupings are arbitrary at best. The reality is, fertility is relative, and a 35 yo woman might be a lot more fertile than a 22 yo woman. Without the proper physiological/hormonal measures, this study means nothing.
Sarah-494270. You are incorrect that this study means nothing. Proper pyshiological/hormonal measures might enhance the study or show additional information, but it is not a study without merit and meaning.
I think it's hard to find merrit or meaning with this study because the control groups are not well defined. If we were talking about experiments regarding plants or insects a limited number of controls would make sense. It's that kind of thinking that makes for bad pharmecuticals. You can control the environment that plants, insects and animals are raised in and the simpler the organism the tighter the control. But sigling out women from all walks of life, different social backgrounds, upbringing, socio-economic status and so on and then lumping a very large age group under one or two catagories is anemic at best. Even the weight of these women supossedly could be an issue. It was stated in one study recently published that heavy women were more inclined to have casual sex than thin women. They didn't even take into consideration the fact that women vary greatly when it comes to when they enter menopause or peri-menopause for that matter. I am 46 and I still ovulate. A family trait. I do believe this plays a factor in my 'sex drive'. I am not promiscuous out of my sense of self-respect. I'm also a senstitive indiviual and it's disturbing to me to engage in intimate behaviour with someone I've just met. This study would have taken none of these things into consideration. Many women engage in risky sex because they want validation. It could be that self-confidence declines for many in middle age. The society we live in does nothing to flatter older women. It makes more sense that these women are sleeping around due to a low sense of self worth and not neccessarily a biological imparative to reproduce. Human beings are too complex for such a simple study in behaviour. It would however work well with dung beetles.
I disagree with this I have an eidetic memory and my head is small. People I know with big heads can't remember what happened yesterday.
I have a buffalo head, and the memory of a 25-year-old, even though I am past 60. Must be all those brain cells in there. That may explain also why I was always the one driving the van back in the 1960s after everyone had dropped their acid. I could take two and still keep it on the road.
Here's a twist. Women are actually more fertile when their mate is away. It has something to do with the female's biological programming that has evolved to optimize diveristy in the natural selection process.
Think about that the next time you guys go out of town on a fishing trip with the boys.
I'm a married 38 yr old mother of 3 little ones, and I'm on 2 (count 'em!) forms of birth control to keep from getting pregnant again, especially since I'm in the process of finishing up my college degree and returning to the work force. As I observe some single women over the age of 30 and see some of the careless choices they are making to try to nail down a relationship (having sex on first dates, going further than they are really comfortable with too early in the relationship), I really do feel sad for them.
We like to think that in 2010, the sexes are on equal ground. But psychological, sociological, and biological studies do not back this up. Men and women are different. We have different needs and different goals. Men often use love (or the appearance of love) to get sex. Women often use sex to get love. With so many more available single women than men, men know they have a statistical advantage. But the woman is more often the one who carries heavier physical, mental, and social consequences when she chooses to hop from bedroom to bedroom in her quest to express her "sexual freedom."
Ladies, let's please learn to value ourselves more. We are more than hips, lip, and fingertips. We have a heart, a spirit, and a soul that desire and deserve to be cherished. He will respect you more if you make him earn your love. Giving your body to a man too quickly only makes you look desperate and weak. God created the perfect design for mutual respect and sexual fulfillment between the sexes: marriage. Science even shows that the safest place for children is to be brought up by their biological parents in a marriage relationship. Even in 2010, that fact still has not changed.
Men think about sex every six seconds and yet, no one ever accuses them of wanting babies - - - in fact, it's the other way around! Has it ever occured to these so called scientist (whom seem to be family values campaigners in disguise) that the real reason that women appreciate sex more as their fertility declines is that they are LESS AFRAID of becoming pregnant, and therefore feel free to enjoy sex in the same way that men do throughout their lives, thanks to social stereotypes? Here's an idea for your next experiment, guys: why not see what happens when you let us get on with living our lives, free of childbearing obligations, instead of constantly treating us like GUINEA PIGS?